sshhhh...be very, very quiet, i'm hunting...

I think I'm very close to capturing the elusive Ms. Mojo. I caught a glimpse of her Tuesday morning while I was running, and all day yesterday she haunted my thoughts like a desire for chocolate cake - only better (running doesn't make you worry about your thighs like a nice, moist hunk of dark cake will).

When Glenn got home from work, I did something I rarely, rarely do - I ran back to back days. I didn't run much on Tuesday, and that run left me feeling both elated, satisfied and still wanting, panting for more. Yesterday was a deliciously cool day...so I went out for a run.

And there I came across her, my mojo. She's still a bit shy - after all, I'd been ignoring her for a while. But I think she's ready to come home.

And I'm ready to run again today. I won't go, I don't want to do too much too fast...but I've got that longing ache in my soul to be out there, sweating and trotting along the side of the road, just me and the wind.

where has all my mojo gone?

Geesh. You think I could be a grown-up and get out there and do my runs because 1. I crazy love running (I do) 2. it's so good for me and 3. I'm a runner. But no. I actually have to have a race that I'm signed up for to get out there and make it happen.

In the past month, I've run a handful of times. I ran 1.8 miles a few days after pacing my friend Tara at her ultra, I ran twice the following week (3.1 miles a piece), ten days later I ran in the Epilepsy 5K Race with a slow 5k time (31:14). That last run was nine days ago...

I'm feeling flabby fat and lazy...something that my belated honeymoon cruise to Bermuda didn't exactly help with (fancy French food every dinner, full-fat breakfasts, sushi every evening...). Though I had every intention of running while on the cruise - I even said so to Glenn at least twice, "I want to run tomorrow and need to do that in the morning" - still, nothing.

So, I'm finding a fall race and signing up.

Who ever said running was cheaper than a gym membership was dead wrong. Or *WAY* more type A than I am, because I need a goal to push myself towards. Apparently, that goal will either be a race on October 2nd or one November 6th, both of which go through the lolling hills of Lancaster County, past Amish farms and other quaint sights.

I'm looking for my mojo. If you see her, please send her home. I went out this morning and ran around the neighborhood, trying to find her, and I swear, I caught a glimpse of her heels, kicking in high glee just ahead of me fading in and out of the fog as I chased her.

a missed run

This morning, I missed my run. Actually, I haven't run all week, but this morning was the first day that I had made a plan to run, rather than doing the "if you wish it, you will run" philosophy. I woke up at 6:15 and lay there slowly easing into being awake, letting the last vestiges of a dream seep away. I climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb Glenn, grabbed my running clothes and shoes, opened the door and saw...

Claire.

Standing there in her Ariel jammies, sleepy smile on her face and a book, Watch Your Whiskers, Geronimo Stilton, in her hand. "Read this to me, mommy," she said.

I told her I was going for a run, it's very early, and she should go back to bed. So, she climbed in while I was in the bathroom, changing...and thinking...

I crept into Claire's room and snuggled up to her on the bed. And as I lay there, I realized this would be my last morning for a while that I would get to snuggle her. Tonight, Claire goes back to her daddy's house for 3 weeks, the rest of the summer custody schedule. I'm going to miss these chances to snuggle her, and not just over the next few weeks...Claire's doesn't wake up hardly at all (knock on wood) for snuggles any more.

So, I snuggled my Bunny. And missed my run. This means that my hope of going sub-29 for my 5K race on Saturday is out the window (too many missed runs) and I probably won't run sub-30 either. But, I got some good snuggly love in with my daughter and that is even better for the soul than a run.

Oh, and if you'd like to make a donation, I'm running for the Epilepsy Foundation on Saturday. My friends have a beautiful little girl who is 6 years old and has epilepsy. When she was a baby, the doctors removed the right side of her brain to diminish the severity of the seizures. She's a sweet, mischievous little girl and a nice playmate of Claire's. If you've got $5, you can give it here.